crawling over the hump of the week

I don't want to be good,

Don't want to and can't

Failure feels better

My natural slant

So many tasks

Each slips through these hands

But am I allowed

To ignore life's demands?

Where can I go?

Where perfection is banned?

Where failure is standard

And admitting it grand?

Into the arms

Running headlong

Instant relief

My heart hears His song

"When all seen is failure

You're ready for Me,

Sit down in My perfect

Where I finished for thee."

Five Minute Friday: Expectation

On Fridays (well, some of them for me) we write for five minutes without worrying whether or not it's right. Today's prompt: Expectation.

ReadySetGO!

Summer warms the air at last

Praying days rush quickly past

Hope is just within my grasp

Fill me up inside

Not just to cross them through in red

But to feast on manna, bread

All my founts, in You I'm fed

Fill me up inside

Love each day sans reservation

All is grace and transformation

Jesus be my expectation

Fill me up inside

On to life in what is True

Abundantly when view is You

No earthly fare will ever do

So fill me up inside

Whole and wholly Yours alone

STOP.

Yes, please Jesus.

pain & glory

You are here,
ever near
You meet me where the bottom was
You take broken,
vile and twisted
Cross-blood turns it beautiful
Hold me closely,
heart so fragile,
Hands that bled to never bruise
Hear the heartbeat,
Trust Your history
For Your good glory all things used

heart migration

Where buds of life slow burst to bloom

And flowers know not winter's tomb

Where bees and butterflies flit free

And rays embrace in balmy glee

Yes, where the birds fly south

Oh, where the birds fly south

Lacking chill of ice and winds

Lushest green that never ends

Sunsmile of heaven ever warm

Grass and laughter shining charm

Oh, where the birds fly south

Yes, where the birds fly south

Where life is rich but fragile not

Where no bad things need be forgot

Where no creature knows decay

No parents grieve the child they lay

Oh, where the birds fly south

Yes, where the birds fly south

Refuge that all life does seek

From bold and brave to poor and weak

Shelter, haven in life's night

Branches strong and hopeful bright

Yes, where the birds fly south

Oh, where the birds fly south

Allure my soul to seek it out

And to profuse in others' drought

Cross-life, my heart, ever to glow

As south sun draws the birds to go

Yes, where the birds fly south

Oh, where the birds fly south

no good thing

Well, here we are again. You're reading. I'm wrestling. 

And hopefully by the time we finish the Lord will have drastically moved my heart.

I am in desperate need of a heart-shift. Strike that. A heart transplant.

Lord, give me Your heart?

Deployment never ceases to clarify the tension in which we, as pursuers of Christ, are called to live. My current struggle is truly just a variation of some other struggle that I'm sure I've written about before. Ultimately I know what the remedy will be: the Gospel. But first the Lord is calling my heart out of the shadows of obscurity, into a place where diagnosis takes place, into the Light.

The last few days, perhaps for the last week, I have rushed through almost everything. Christmas vacation days could not come fast enough. Then the road trip to Orlando for Christmas could not pass quickly enough. Then emails, phone calls, and video chats with Stephen could not come often enough. The miles home could not be short enough. And now the week drags on as well, despite the fact that it was actually shortened by the holiday. 

Unsettled. Discontent. Absent.

There were a few redeeming moments. I do tend to enjoy the evenings more than the afternoons and always more than the mornings. And time with my family was certainly blessed and refreshing. But overall I have been over-eager to cross days off my big calendar on the wall.

The first twinge of conviction came with the first chapter of Priscilla Shirer's "The Resolution for Women," a sweet Christmas gift from my in-laws. The first resolution is "Surprisingly Satisfied," so it's no wonder that I quickly found piercing lines like this:

"I recognized that by rushing through life, I'd been subtly devaluing those around me and the experiences I was involved in, not appreciating the importance and significance they bring to my life at this very moment, not grasping my responsibility for holding dear and treating well these gifts God has entrusted to me."

or like this:

"Then before you know it, you've missed out on the joys in the journey, the growth that comes from battling through the difficulties, the sweet and savory experience of creating the memories."

and questions like these:

"What have you been hurrying through? What have you been hurrying to get to?"

With these thoughts resonating in my mind through the Christmas weekend, I settled into the 7-hour drive home on Monday with a new book from my best friend, Tashi. It is called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. The theme of the book? Gratitude. 

Ok, Lord. You want to teach me about contentment, grace, gratitude, joy. Please do! I'm miserable here.

My mind begins to process all the reasons why I should be actively grateful, constant in thanksgiving, cognizant of grace, etc.

But my heart is still so far behind.

Today is more of the same. I think part of the issue is the collision between expectations and reality. At certain times in my life I have lived with such a high view of eternity with Christ that anything here that happened to go well was nice, but not valued as the norm. Comparatively, everything on earth is infinitely unsatisfying. 

Either way, after a longer day of work than I had anticipated, I came home to eat a frozen dinner (if you know me well this is probably the most shocking statement of this entire post). I realized that I had not yet hung up this week's deployment countdown card. The one I took down yesterday is in the shape of a pocket. On the back it reads: "Keep me in your pocket and memorize me! 'The Lord is good, a refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in him.' Nahum 1:7" I did, in fact, keep it in my pocket today. Thank you, sweet friend, who thought of this.

The card I moved to the current week space is for Week 38, Psalm 84:11. 

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

the Lord bestows favor and honor.

No good thing does he withhold

from those who walk uprightly."

I've been living life, viewing life, valuing life, as though I am missing out on something that I deserve to have. The Lord did call me to marriage. This much I know for certain. But He also called my husband to the Army long before our marriage was in the picture. This being true, I am called to the Army as well. 

Do I really believe that the Lord is not withholding any good thing from me right now? 

Do I really grasp deep down, at the gut level, where all my emotions spring from, that God has allowed our separation because it is good?

Do I view it as a terrible thing that the Lord will redeem?

Or do I see it as a beautiful, if heart-wrenching, gift that He has offered to me?

Do I agree with His word that there is nothing good that He has not already given me?

It certainly depends on how I define the word "good." For that I turn to Romans 8:28-29: "For we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose...to be conformed to the image of His Son."

What is truly good is my conformity to the likeness of Jesus. If wrestling through Stephen's deployment is the best tool for that masterpiece that the Lord has at this point in my life, He would actually be unloving if He did not use it now. What is truly good is for me to have Jesus. So if realizing and rejoicing in my desperation for Christ is the aim of this deployment, it is the sweetest gift and highest good the Lord could give.

I realize this could sound maniacal or despotic, but verse 32 of Romans 8 brings it all into proper perspective: "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?"

God has not given me His most treasured Son only to deny me of lesser good now. 

Such truth is unbearably difficult to feel at times, but how I long to be in that place!

Can I see it as a gift? Not only deployment, but every other part of life that seems on the surface to be a frustration, a waste, a heartache, a hurdle, an obstacle, a loss?

Can I please have Gospel-eyes to recognize that I lack no. good. thing?

Oh! How I do not want to waste this year! Whether it meets my expectations for productivity or not, I want to savor every good thing the Lord brings in and through it.

My entire being wrestles with this tension. I miss Stephen. Separation is a gift. It is good for me to have a husband. It is best for me to be away from him for a time. 

Lord, let this only whet my appetite for Your return. Let my heart live constantly in the tension between fruitful labor on earth and the deepest desire to be with You.

I may not be in the Garden

But the lie is still the same

That happiness awaits me

Just beyond what You have named

Crafty serpent, sinful heart

Such a deadly combination

Kill, steal and destroy my joy

Restless gripe of aggravation 

Pull me upward now to You

As Jesus' tree of death allows

Serves as reminder of Your heart

You gave all then, You give good now

Give me a heart to live

Out of knowing this is true

So that my heart becomes a blessing

To those around me, first to You

writing things out

Rest, You say,

But it's so hard

Too tired to rest for real

I'm up and I'm down

Always "on" never off

Can You tell me which wounds need to heal?

They all feel raw

Open for trouncing 

Stretched thin to the point that they fray

Realize it or not

My heart has to cope

With this grief every minute each day

Get behind every thought

Get behind every tear

To what's really happening inside

It's all just a blur

All pent up within

I could not make sense if I tried

Nobody knows

Though some come close

But no one knows just how I feel

It's not their marriage

It's not their life

Not their separation to deal

And now You whisper

I knew You would

You do when I offer my all

It is Your marriage

Mine is Your life

This is us obeying Your call

I don't like it

I said it

I don't like it one bit

And You know

And it's fine

And you handle my fit

It's my heart

Not fake smiles

That You always pursue

I bring ugly

But honest

And give it to You

And Your voice is so tender

It melts my poor heart

As I've laid all I have at Your feet

You take ugly and honest

And cover with grace

And still Your abundance is wholly replete

You don't work with "ok"

No tools for "I'm fine"

So useless is "I'm good, and you?"

I must see my need

Not just see but admit

So that You can give mercies all new

I'm deficient alone

No clue what to do

I'm really just no good at this

For whatever reason

I trust that You have

There's something You won't let us miss

So we're here

And I'm grateful

You know that's no lie

It's so hard

But still good

Despite buckets I cry

But the point
You keep saying

Is how good I am not

And how

By sharp contrast

You've vanquished my rot

That I'm clueless

And hopeless

When considered alone

But You're holy

Victorious

King on the throne

King in my heart

King of this day

Not King far away and aloof

And what better time

To remember Your love

You came down as a babe to give proof

Free to be me

Because You give You

No longer defined by my plight

The deeper my weakness

The more room for You

To display the great power of Your might

Well, here You go!

Display away!

Weaker I may never have been

Still my heart is Your canvas

I trust Your scarred hands

For Your glory my all. With love, Katie Lynn

"Return, O my soul, to your rest;

for the Lord has dealt bountifully with You."

Psalm 116:7

"the DNA of joy is thankfulness"

Happy Thanksgiving from the Kumps!

Stephen and I both enjoyed the day as much as possible given the circumstances.

My parents, Nate and I went to two Thanksgiving meals:

Lunch with my mom's extended family:

And dinner with the Kumps:

Stephen got to drive (or at least sit on) a local "car" in between his two Thanksgiving meals and a trip to the mall:

We have so much to be grateful for, not only this year for Thanksgiving, but every single day. Topping the charts right now:

--That we are separated for our first year of holidays in marriage. I am grateful to not know what we're missing out on by not being together.

--That our families love each other so much. It is so sweet to have one big family, especially this year. I am sure logistics will get more and more complicated as the years go by, but what a blessing it was to have both our families together for the holiday! It is such an undeserved, unearned, gracious gift of God that our families love us and each other so well. Thank you, Mommy and Daddy, Mom and Dad, for taking such good care of us!

The Lord gave me this prayer a few years ago along with a little melody to keep it lodged in my heart. It was perfect for yesterday, a day of celebration that was mixed with sadness.

Let Your love be enough for me

Show my heart You're my only need

Let Your truth abolish every lie

Let Your love saturate my life

"Contentment celebrates grace. The contented heart is satisfied with the Giver and is therefore freed from craving the next gift." --Paul Tripp

flood warning

This may be bad.

This may be really, really bad.

But I've warned you now, and that's all I can do.

Today, this sucks. It really does.

I don't even like that term, but I can't work my way around it. "This stinks" just isn't cutting it today. Sorry.

I'm alone. And I'm crying. And I can't stop. 

I cry at the hard things. I cry at the sweet things. I cry because I hate it. And I cry because I would not change it. I cry because I miss Stephen. I cry because he is so worth missing. I cry because I am grateful that I miss him as much as I do. I cry because he feels the same way. I cry because the Lord is near. I cry because He keeps reminding me that I don't have to be good at this. I cry because He alone knows just how bad I am at it. I cry because I know it will get better with time. I cry because the thought of the time it will take is overwhelming. I cry because I feel like I should feel like I'm single again. I cry because that's about the last way I feel. I cry because I wish I knew how to handle social settings or meeting new people well. I cry because I almost dread it some days. 

The trigger.

I guess the trigger was a text from Stephen today saying he had arrived at his overseas destination. Up until now he was training in the same time zone. If you have spent any time with me in the evenings over the last two months, you know that writing is not my typical 9pm activity. I would have been parting ways with you soon to talk to Stephen. But now he has (jet-lag permitting) been sleeping for several hours, and his will not be the last voice I hear tonight. Not live anyway. 

And then I think about the last person I will have talked to today: the cashier at Kroger. And I cry some more.

Some days solitude is a double-edged sword. Today is one of those. I hate being alone and yet cannot imagine interacting with anyone else right now. I feel like I putter around the house, doing a little bit of everything, but not completing anything. Not that I don't have plenty to do. 

If you have yet to receive a wedding gift thank you, rest assured, they are in the works. I have another writing job that I am excited to take on between now and Thanksgiving. I have been compiling all my poetry from the last decade. 

I have enjoyed time with friends this month. My old small group got away to the lake one weekend. 

We threw a baby shower for Darrah yesterday. 

And Juliet keeps me great company. 

Hanging out with my new friend, Cat, who nannies and whose husband is also away for a year, has been a huge highlight in these few weeks. 

It's not boredom. I think I stay busy enough. It's just hard.

As I was thinking through an upcoming church social earlier this evening, I came to realize why I feel so out of place all of a sudden, especially at church. It has nothing to do with other people, though perhaps their love for both of us brings the emotions to the surface. It has more to do with the fact that Stephen is indeed my other half. And as cheesy as it sounds (I really tried not to say it, but it's true!), we are one person in two places. One heart, one flesh, one family. Two continents that might as well be two worlds. 

And it's seeing the people who know us well that really undoes me. Because I know they look at me and see Stephen too. They can't look at me and not think about the reason he's not beside me or how long it will be until he is again. And whether they say something or not, I feel exposed and vulnerable and overwhelmed in all the ways I should, I suppose. And I am grateful the Lord has given me a heart that cannot hide, although I'll apologize again for all the times each of you will get a bucket full of tears because of it.

And it's funny how real it finally seems that we are one. Sad that it often does not feel as true in togetherness as it does in separation. But we both are praying that the things we learn this year will change how we view and value each other, our future family, and every other priority in our lives. It's almost a glimpse of the "if only"s we might have if one of us were to pass, so I'll be grateful that our opportunities to love each other well are, Lord willing, still a lifetime full.

Whew. So, the tears have stopped. I think that's all for tonight. Maybe my poor sinuses will have a chance to clear up before lights out.

One thing I heard in a short John Piper montage on YouTube last week has stuck with me. I won't get the quote exactly right, but as he is talking about the certainty of suffering in the Christian life he makes the distinction between what is miserable and what is painful. And though at times I am tempted to file this experience under Misery, I know that would not be true. It's painful. Ugh, it's frustratingly painful some days. And I feel like it would not be so bad if I just loved Jesus a little more, and that way of thinking serves only to perpetuate frustration.

But the pain is not misery because of the cross of Christ. Suffering is the primary way God's glory of salvation is revealed in the world--Jesus on the cross and my hope in suffering now. This is not futile misery; it is glory-rending pain.

And I pray the Lord gets enormous glory from it. No matter how much it hurts. No matter how many days ahead will feel like this one. No matter how many showers, meals, car rides, communions, or blog posts I have yet to cry through.

When all my tears have fallen

And my strength lies in their wet

When my heart is naught but frailty

Jesus, let me not forget!

Not only did Your tears fall

But Your sweat became as blood

As You gazed on separation

Cost of mercy's welling flood

But as Your tears led to glory

Please allow mine so to do

For every teardrop let one-thousand

"Hallelujah"s rise to You

And so it will all be worth it

Every mite of this sweet pain

If Your glory shines the brighter

Beauty bursting through the rain

just the cover page

It started with a tree in a Garden

And the man you first made there to toil

Adam was his name

Procreation was his aim

As he broke and conquered all Your handmade soil

But Adam failed and ate the tree You said to not

He ate the lie and turned his back on Love

Sin broke the life and joy

Death's sneaky, wicked ploy

And Tree of Life no more could he lay hold of

So Your first plan was postponed indefinitely

As restitution was required to move forward

Necessary better Adam

Your Son would humbly come

The One all Heaven worshiped and adored

And where first Adam should have died on evil tree

For his choice to be the ruler of his life

Perfect Jesus now would die

Both in Adam's place and mine

As the cross became His tree of death and strife

Now because He rose again and rose to You

He will come one day to fulfill Your greater plan

Because a Garden was not all

You have a city strong and tall

Built 'round the Tree of Life where life began

Where first Adam chose death but did not die

Second Adam obeyed even to the cross

Though Adam's task met with defeat

Jesus' victory will complete

His blood the fire that purges all sin's dross

And it's not until we reach that final city

That all You have in store will be unveiled

This life is just the cover page

For greater glories come each new age

Sun not needed as Your beauty is detailed

my second marriage

As I laid me down to sleep

Last night I prayed the Lord would keep

Husband and marriage near His heart

To gently craft this work of art

Yet in the stillness as I lay

His whispered voice did softly say

"Remember, Kate, our wedding day,

How I was first your fiance."

As dawned the sweetest memories of

Two decades' worth of Savior love

I sighed a smile of peaceful rest

Nestled on my Husband's chest

Though silly daylight makes it sound

I treasure this dear thought profound

That I was wed at young age 4

To Jesus Christ forevermore

And twenty years into new life

God fit me to be Stephen's wife

And He will fit us ever still

To toil and relish His bright will

So near or far, home or deployed

We've greater hopes to be enjoyed

Beyond this momentary grace

When Jesus Groom is face to face

butterfly, a poem for lauren baggett

Twirling, gliding through the air,
Capturing the eye,
How are your wings so soft and fare,
O dainty butterfly?

Burns within a need to be
As lovely as you are,
Bright and free and beautiful,
Waving from afar.

And so I cry in anguish,
Your truest opposite,
Heavy, fat and slothful,
Helplessly obstinate.

To be rid of sticky fingers
That cling unto the ground!
To be rid of whorish appetite
Irrevocably bound!

But I remember what you once were,
Caterpillar in days of old,
Who, though death had seemed to conquer,
Splendid beauty did unfold.

So now let hope arise!
A fresh new hymn to sing!
When death in me is conquered,
Glory to my Savior King!

No more a crawling glutton,
No more sin's hunted prey!
Raised to life in newness
On that most glorious day!

I thank you, gentle butterfly,
You foreshadow who I'll be,
Made in Creator's image,
One day you'll fade by me.

Your beauty is a promise,
Your Creator is mine too,
And He loves me into beauty
As He's making all things new.

words.

Dearest country overseas,

I am sending you my heart.

Please appreciate his presence

That will keep us far apart.

For God's glory and your good

I'll give the one my heart holds dear,

And I pray he'll come back wholly

When he's mine again next year.

Dearest Jesus, Here's my heart.

I give it back to you each day.

It is Yours and so please move it

in Your sweet and gentle way.

Years at distance, hours of wrath,

Are the deployment that it cost,

So let my heart stand on this Rock

Once-for-all found cannot be lost.

sand I am

When everything around me

seems to cruelly fall apart,

When my weakness, striving, failure

rend asunder my frail heart

Then I realize my foundation

has not been steady land

But I've built upon myself,

forgetting I am naught but sand

Shifting, tricky, flaky grains,

far too tiny to give strength,

The best I had to offer

returned a dismal lack of length

Something stronger, Someone sure

must support my weight of life

For tiny grains of sand

hold not this woman, friend and wife

Though I'll give wholehearted effort,

my foundation e'er must be

Jesus, crucified and risen,

Solid Rock, my Hope is He

"Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it." Matthew 7:24-27

stones

Staggering,

the weight of sin,

She crumples to the dust
Calloused hands of calloused hearts

Jolt her with a final thrust

Scorching sun and blinding light

The last her eyes will see

She bows her head, her tears make mud

And waits for gravity

Then He steps in

He intervenes

Not because she's innocent

More because all stones on earth

Fail to afford atonement

If every stone that could be found

Were hurled against her sin

Still too heinous, grievous shame

Would plague her from within

With sin too great

Rebellion's breach

Healed and mended by just One

Superseding stones and surface splints

The Father sent His Son

And all the pain of stonings past

And all those to be earned

Broke the life of God's own Son

At the cross His Father spurned

One large stone

Now rolled in place

To seal the sting of death

One large stone, the angels sing

King Christ reclaims His breath

Heretofore her verdict death

Ever after life and light

All sins washed and all stones rolled

Away in Jesus' might

waiting on the sun

the sleepy sky is dark

but not without illumination

clouds are dull and grey

but sing anticipation

the sun is on its way

and with it mercies new

to light the morning sky

to saturate it through

to bless the weary eye

whose heart is dull and grey

with hope in vivid light

the sun is on its way

ever softly comes the bright

warming wonder of each ray

heating tendrils, wisps and swirls

brand new pigments on display

myriad grace He now unfurls

dripping from the newborn day

filling eyes and heart with life

hugging near the faraway

and to think these glories rife

tender mercy's own bouquet

breaths ago were dull and dark

but the Sun is on its way

Rene and Brandon's Save-the-Date

Rene and Brandon are thrilled to announce

The date when they"Man and Wife" are pronounced.

They met at Toyota in Fall of 2007

When God crossed their paths with a purpose from heaven.

At first sight, Rene thought, (clearly more than a whim)

"Now I could marry someone who looks just like him!"

Brandon was smitten and would later admit,

He just couldn't resist Rene's spunk or her wit.

Their friendship developed as did love for the Lord,

And Brandon marked with a diamond the one he adored.

Thus began love and now ends their long distance,

Please save their big day and plan your attendance.

Choosing Peaches or Derby was a tough one to call,

But we look forward to sharing our day with you all!

Sleepless Savior

Wrote this summer 2009, found it today, posting it because.....He said to.

Sleepless Savior,

hold my hand,

kiss my heavy eyes with love,

because I'm restless

and I'm striving

to hold what You're in control of.

I wait for You,

the wings You promise,

For You are faithful timelessly

Never weary, I am trusting

Sleepless Savior carries me

reciprocity.

Father, so many thoughts about this day,

this life,

this time,

this Word.

Reciprocity, theme of year.

You, him, faith, love.

Reciprocity conquers sin.

Reciprocity breathes life.

My heart is full,

Words are painfully inadequate.

Breaking through the noise some days,

Crashing through the silence others,

Your still, small voice,

Your strong, sure voice,

"I love you. That is all."

As all slip through my fingers,

self-righteousness,

pride,

fear,

got-my-act-togetherness,

Your sweet words envelope me.

"I love you. That is all."

Not a guilt trip, not a scolding.

Gentle reminders of what You promise.

Unending,

unshakable,

undeserved,

unfathomable,

uninhibited.

Love.

All at once both strikingly free and immeasurably costly.

The wrath I earned was exchanged.

Before I knew,

before I could ask,

before I realized,

before I lived.

Love.

And now in my heart.

Indwelling Love.

Powerful, conquering, sin-squelching.

And when I try to fight,

when pride twists my thoughts, my motives, my mind,

when I want to look most holy.

Love.

Humility immediately follows.

So lead me.

Destroy me.

Recreate me.

For Your glory.

Because Your love, it overwhelms, it drowns.

To be plunged into Your ocean of grace,

response is only one of gratitude, praise,

dependence,

trust,

simply to the cross I cling.

Love.

All my life, embodiment of reciprocity.

Love. Boldness. Discipline.

Love.

writing out of the pit

In my mind I am a wretch

Stark reality is filth

Boils of pride, consumed with self

Wreaking violent guilt

Eyes cast down see only sin

Hopelessness enshrouds

Suffocated, choking cough

Engulfed in hell's hot clouds

But then I know You with me

Scandalous meeting here

Holy God to wretched girl

Whispers something in my ear

They are love words soft and pure

Set all my tear drops free

Soothing warmth heals inside out

His blood is liberating me

Blessed power from the throne

Of the One who became sin

Precious presence of His grace

Letting me begin again

Born anew in Spirit life

No longer blistered, bruised and sore

Robes of righteousness now mine

The cost too great to now forget

Or not believe the Truth

Faithful Love is faithful still

Though object is uncouth

Power flows when mind is set

Spirit-fixed is life

Death abounds on days of flesh

Source of crushing strife

Love so steady hems me in

Before and behind

Present, attentive, listening

Eager for me to find

Blessed tomb stands empty still

Though Enemy's contradictory

I spoke with Christ this morning

He's giving me His victory

Tashi's 24! (and 2.5 months)

Tashi's birthday was in April, but because I didn't get to see her until the 4th of JUly, I couldn't post the central portion of her gift until now. She's probably my most faithful follower anyway, so now you have an electronic copy, Tash :)

I love you!

Dear Tash,

My first thought when I met you was

"She's too old to be my friend!"

I would have laughed if I had known

How far that would be from the end!

We went for pads and pretzels

(at least we rode with style!)

But we left with something new

Not found on any grocery aisle

See, I was praying for a friend

And my mom was praying too

So into freshman loneliness

Jesus sweetly gave me you

It really started with a hug

(which of course makes great sense now)

And as many brown couch late nights

As our schedules would allow

Jennifer's toothbrush, naming Scooty

And our first 4th of JUly

Laid foundations for a friendship

Born of our Savior's sweet supply

For when we ask within His will

His blessings never hesitate

He knows and meets us promptly

Never early, never late

Sunday nights spent praying

Eternally wrote you on my soul

We learned to honor Him by asking BIG

Proclaiming He holds all control

Oh the prayers we've seen Him answer!

Rhymes cannot contain them all!

Abby, Bo, AXO, AGD, China, President, Celanese, Rach & Petey

Not to mention thousands small!

And though we grow together

We have our finer moments too

Oh the laughs that come to mind

As I try to name a few

"Let's make ringtones!" "Let's sit and read!"

"Let's take this spiritual gifts test!"

Of all our great ideas

"Old Pride and Prejudice!" was our best

We sure know our Zac Efron

Thanks to HSM and Hairspray

We know how to repair bumpers

With strings found on the freeway

We should have known that at the beach

Our fair skin burns without sunscreen

"Step Up" was a double feature

'Cause it's the best we'd ever seen!

Belting "Wicked" while in Hannah

You came as my formal date

"Oh there were 7 dwarves!!"

Tash, you're often a bit late ;)

You laughed at "August Rush"

Though I still don't quite know why

But when you saw me you laughed harder

Because my eyes were far from dry

We crashed at Alpha Chi Omega

Late one night in San Diego

But by far my favorite pastime

Is classification by potato

I am so glad to have you with me

As we search for zesty curly fries and sweet potato soufflé

No one else has shared my heart

In remotely the same way

You have been faithful, you are true

Even when it's hard to hear

And though our lives are far apart

Our hearts are always very near

No one else has been so loyal

You have pushed me toward the throne

And our Jesus deserves all glory

For the ways in which we've grown

You are nerdy through and through

You are nerdy to your core

But that's where Jesus reigns supreme

As the one that you adore

Thank you for sharing Him with me

Over all these last four years

So we may love Him more and more

On that great day when He appears

We will worship Him forever

Together grateful, on our knees

Captivated by His splendor

Making new all the eye sees

Love,

Kate