ruined

"Man of sorrows," what a name for the Son of God who came, ruined sinners to reclaim...

My getting-ready-for-bed routine was captivated by these lyrics last night. And not even the entire line, but just two words: ruined sinners.

Huh. Sinner, yes. Absolutely. Daily. Moment-by-moment. Each one from birth. Prideful, arrogant, self-"saving," hypocrite. Jealous, haughty, competitive, lazy. Yes, I can easily claim all of these.

But ruined? Is that not just the slightest bit harsh? 

When I look at the list of sins I just made, I nearly chuckle to think those would not add up to "ruined." However, per those same sins, I so easily feel that I still bring so many good things to the table when I come to feast with Jesus. Perhaps the thought never comes quite so bluntly, but wrapped into my motivations and expectations and assumptions about this spiritual life is the subtle yet potent notion that God is lucky to have me on His side. Feelings and attitudes of self-importance and pride are stripped bare by a phrase like "ruined sinners."

Not just "people who messed up but were still pretty much good."

Not "precious sinners."

Not "pitiable sinners."

Not "well-they-tried-their-best sinners" or "they-did-more-good-than-bad sinners."

RUINED sinners. 

Ruined (adjective): botched, broken, defaced, done for, harmed, harried, hurt, impaired, injured, marred, mutilated, pillaged, plundered, robbed, spoiled.

Not painting a picture of a worn down mini-hero hobbling to the table really, is it? Given that this word is describing sinners, wrongdoers and offenders, it follows that nothing about the described is at all appealing or admirable or worthwhile or even functional. More that the back-stabber, liar, cheat has reached utter destruction and been left for dead. That the status of sinner equates to ruin.

Humbling re-realization for a rule-following, people-pleasing, score-keeping, "good" girl.

And, surprisingly enough, here is joy! That I am loved, reclaimed, valued by my Heavenly Father, not because I have done anything at all, and not because He gains anything from me that He did not already have, but because He gets glory in redeeming my ruins. He gets praise in the reconstruction. His universe-altering love is front and center when my neediness and sin and insufficiency are revealed.

By His love he delights in me. Not because I never tasted alcohol before I was 21 years and 3 months old. Not because my lips never kissed before my wedding day. Not because I rarely miss church. Not because I have read the Bible all the way through a handful of times. Not because I floss my teeth religiously.

In fact, my best efforts are so not good, I might as well have thought God needed me because I have never had a cavity.

ALL of it is silly, at best.

ALL of it is vile, in reality.

ALL of it is offensive, in truth.

ANYTHING I thought was gaining me acceptance with Jesus is garbage, a word the Bible uses for both our "good deeds" and a woman's menstrual cloth. Blood soaked and stenching tampons--that is what I proudly bring to the feet of Jesus too often.

Ruined. Ruined. Ruined. Sinner. That is me.

Sinner who has no hope if not to be dressed by grace in Jesus' perfection, His good work, His pure and cleansing blood. Not my unclean discharge of unused organ lining. His poured out life-blood of innocent God Man.

Nothing to offer. Nothing to bring. Only gratitude for His grace, to bless His heart, to know His face, to multiply His love. Blessed to be a blessing.

Hallelujah! What a Savior!

"Man of Sorrows!" what a name

For the Son of God, who came

Ruined sinners to reclaim

Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Bearing shame and scoffing rude

In my place condemned He stood

Sealed my pardon with His blood

Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Guilty, vile and helpless we,

Spotless Lamb of God was He

"Full atonement!" Can it be?

Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Lifted up was He to die;

"It is finished!" was His cry;

Now in Heaven exalted high.

Hallelujah! What a Savior!

When He comes, our glorious King,

All His ransomed home to bring,

Then anew His song we'll sing

Hallelujah! What a Savior!