I let my thoughts run away from the present, from God's sovereignty, far too often. They run to a world where God depends on me, people depend on me, and I depend on me. Praise the Lord! No such place exists! But this is how it goes....
Nicole has come to me with questions about developing her relationship with God, and I am overjoyed to be more involved in her life. But she has a crush on a guy who has been pursuing me for several months. When I told her tonight about an upcoming event with him, she tried to tell me it was really just a joke. Needless to say, I hardly believe her. So the thoughts start: "What if she closes me out? What if his pursuit ruins this? What if I should just tell him I'm not interested at all because she's more important?" Yes, the situation is somewhat delicate and I want to honor Nicole, but God is bigger than guys, crushes, and concerts. Abide.
Tonight I ended my term as President of AXO, and old Exec went to Benihana for dinner to celebrate. I tasted someone else's mojito--my first sip of alcohol. Then I tasted two other people's drinks. They were gross. It was three sips total. I know it wasn't sin. But afterward the thoughts start: "What if this gets misconstrued to younger girls? What if I just blew my witness with some people? What if this gives me more opportunities to witness to others?" But He's bigger than one sip, two sips, three sips, more. Abide.
Now it's December and I'm ready to know what comes next for me. "What if I really do have to get a job with a company? What if I don't apply for summer project? What if I already missed important deadlines? What if I don't even figure out where to start? How is God going to lead me?" But He's so much bigger. All my days are in His book; they've been there for a while now. Let Him do His thing. He always has. He still is. He will. Abide.
