letter to my decade-younger self

Dear Katie Lawrence,

Not Katie Lawrence of 15 months ago.

Katie Lawrence of 10 years ago.

One decade has passed, my self. Ten full years. 

Words of advice? How about a book full?! Someday soon. But for now, a blog post full...

Mommy and Daddy (yes, you'll still call them this on the verge of your quarter-century birthday) know a lot more than you think. And by a lot, I mean a whole freakin' ton! So much so, we have yet to be fully embarrassed by how much we don't know. It's true, my friend. They have, in fact, been there, and do, in fact, care about you more than anyone else. You won't run into this brick wall with all your might on a regular and painful basis, but trust me when I urge you to trust them almost as much as you trust Jesus. And please, please, PLEASE resist the urge to minimize their insight because they were making unwise decisions when they were your age--if anything, that only makes their wisdom more legit. I know it doesn't make sense right now, but try to embrace the fact that your world (and even your literal brain) are smaller than theirs, your perspective understandably shorter, and your hormones embarking on a roller coaster they have navigated for years. They love you more than anyone on the planet, and, if for no other reason, because they are your parents, God will use them to guide you in life.

Forget about boys pursuing you. Really. It'll be the better part of the decade before you meet the man God made you for. Your head is on straight right now, but that's because it's easier when you're not allowed to date. Just get ready to give yourself grace. Relationships with boys are hard...mostly because they should and do end before the one that will start in 2010. Take your heart back to Jesus every time boys creep into your thoughts, and trust that He is working something beautiful in you in the meantime. Namely, His image, His heart, working it into and in place of everything about you.

Stop judging people. I know you don't think you do it, but you do. Keeping the rules is not making you better than anyone else around you, and it certainly is not showing them love. I'm not saying you should break the rules, but recognize that Jesus kept them all and find your identity in Him, not in how well you are doing.

Don't go for the second round of braces in 11th grade. Or maybe do. Cliche as it sounds, it will build character. I mean, who needs friends really?

Spend more time with and fighting to deepen your friendships with Katie Houghtaling, Sally Anderson, Brittany Barnard and Laura Jane Miller. Those are the top four you'll care about 10 years from now. Go narrow and deep in relationships--that's what Jesus did. You're on the right path to narrow, but be sure to go deep too.

When college rolls around, find a small, Bible believing, simple church to go to, maybe even a new church plant. Decide to love, serve, learn and live with the people there, and fall in love with that congregation of Christ's bride. Don't look for trendy, for loud worship, for all your friends going there. Those are great secondary benefits, but not good starting grounds.

Consuming alcohol is not sinful. It is going to take you most of the decade to figure this out, but you'll love more people and know the heart of Jesus more if you can inch your way toward it a little sooner. God bless the Southern Baptist Convention--you learned a lot of Jesus, Truth, love there. But they missed the boat on alcohol, and that's a big deal for a Jesus-loving sorority girl.

Speaking of which: Alpha Chi all the way! Jump in, head first, love hard, give it all. You won't be using your major much after college (at least not in the first three years), so go with your gut and prioritize people. Well, let me clarify. Prioritize your sisters. The boy will fall into place whether you like it or not (and actually, you won't like it until it's time), so pour your little heart into loving those women to Jesus. 

Always start with grace. The Law, the rules don't draw people to Jesus. Start with what He already did: kept the rules for us and died in our place. God now sees us not only as though we had never sinned, but as though we had always obeyed. Start there. That radical, nonsensical, glorious grace is sticky and satisfying and irresistible. Let God speak His whole message through you, not just the parts you think are important.

Spend all of yourself on other people. Don't shy away from opportunities to pour into young believers who are eager. Find a way to make it work no matter what. If you can't do it by yourself, find a helper, someone else to step in.

Go ahead and stop highlighting your hair before you start. Mommy is the one who truly prefers it on the blonde side, but by now we don't care. Save them the money so they can't give you grief when you decide you love your dark brown hair the first time the highlights come out of your pocket.

GO GET TESTED FOR ALLERGIES TODAY! Seriously. Do it 5 minutes ago. Don't wait until you're 19. There is a whole new world out there for you to discover and enjoy. One in which the other kids don't make fun of you for being allergic to the grass when you ask to borrow their jackets to sit on at recess. No one else uses tissues every single day--it really is just you. And if you start now, maybe you'll have good enough medicine so that Mr. Bradford won't call you a snot factory later this year...

Pick a favorite color. Just do it. Home-making will be so much easier if you do. Trust me. And if people know your favorite color, you're more likely to be given gifts throughout your life that you actually like.

Start guitar now. Stick with it.

More later,

Katie Lynn Kump

remembering is the trigger for gratitude

Ok, Jesus. Here's everything.

Today I am full. Exhausted a little, perhaps, but full.

Overflowing. Overwhelmed, even?

To begin, a book is changing my life. At least this year, but I pray that it sticks. One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. 

Oh that I could sum up the entire book in a sentence to claim for each morning! Gratitude is the expression of my faith in God that brings me to His presence moment by moment, remembering His faithfulness, accepting every minute as His gift of grace, finding joy, blessing others. 

Remembering, what the Israelites and I fail to do so easily. But last week I had the opportunity to remember corporately in our small group what God has done, how He has called, how we have answered. To hear the stories of others, to recount bits of mine, and to ruminate on all that words will never express was humbling and thrilling all at the same time.

How far He has brought me! 

My commute to and from work takes me by a middle school each day. Once each week, sometimes more often, Juliet and I mosey down the street on our way to the park and pass the students outside for lunch time. The girls giggle in circles as they watch the boys throwing rocks at each other. Flashbacks to grade school are frequent and comical.

Playing MASH at midnight with squealing girlfriends. So glad I didn't marry my middle school crush in a peach wedding dress to have five kids living in a shack.

Buying everything with the title Princess on it. Purse. Shirts. Door knockers. Pillows. Antenna balls. (Yes, even when I was old enough to drive.)

Sitting on AIM hoping boys would talk to me. Asking my girl friends to suggest it to them. One word: Nextel.

The sillyness record could go on, I'm sure, but in the midst of all of that, somehow, Jesus was truly grabbing my heart. 

He so clearly called me back to public school after a few years in private and Christian.

He so deeply ingrained a desire to be a wife and mom who stays home with her kids.

He gave me a knack for Spanish that, oddly enough, landed me at Georgia Tech. Of course since then I've realized that, academically speaking, I should have pursued writing at a liberal arts school. His timing, so amusing.

He spoke clearly on Pref Night at Alpha Chi, meeting me in the upstairs hallway and Anna Griffith's (now Bolduc's) words. Here. Seek Me here. Find Me here. Bring Me here.

In the disinterest I wrestled with through half the classes in my major He turned my heart away from so many political jobs that were not His plans.

And as I haggled with corporate America and schools and churches for jobs after graduation, He brought me back to the desire for staying home with my children as well as the opportunity to train for that in a very real way.

He interrupted my mourning old flames with the conflagration of love that He had built in Stephen Kump for me over a handful of years, and He moved clear as crystal to bring us to marriage before deployment began.

He brought us in engagement to a community of God-lovers known as the Village Church in Vinings and has knit me into a core group of women who come around me relentlessly in this season. He also set us near families who are several steps ahead of us to learn from and follow.

He is orchestrating the events of this deployment, both at home and across the ocean, so that His name and renown are maximized. Imperfectly on our end, but gloriously on His. More details of that shortly, but for now...

Wonder. 

Gratitude.

Amazement.

Awe.

Giggling even.

Jesus has done all of that? And my recounting does not even begin with salvation right now.

But if He has done all of this and more, how can I not be delighted to follow Him? How can I not be tickled by His workings now? How can I not praise Him and move joyfully into each new day? 

Remembering. Remembering fosters gratitude. 

Because even if none of these things had happened, memory of the cross and the empty tomb would be more than enough to cultivate adoration and enjoyment in all He has for me now.

Resting here. Because "He who began a good work...will bring it to completion." (Philippians 1:6)

this day last year...

...Stephen Kump asked me to marry him, and what a sweet year it has been!

If you missed that part of our lives or, more likely, had no idea I blogged at the time, I would love for you to check out my original post about our relationship and Stephen's proposal: i get to marry Stephen Kump? you're kidding.

Grateful for the ways in which the Lord has loved us and grown us over the last year, and I pray that this day next year will come even faster and bearing greater evidence of the Lord's work and glory in our lives.

And another huge "Thank you!" to Mr. Andy Jones for capturing the moment. He's a stud.