a brief commentary on Twilight

This is at least my third attempt at writing about my bewilderment over the Twilight phenomenon. But really the issue is simple.

The story line of the Twilight Saga is fully opposite the Gospel in every aspect.

Edward is a deceptively beautiful, blood-thirsty vampire who is inexplicably in love with someone good. Jesus is the truly beautiful, Son of God and Creator  who is gloriously loving toward everyone who is bad.

Despite Edward's love for Bella and self-denial, his deepest desire is to drink her blood. Although God is ultimately concerned only for His own glory, that pursuit has brought about salvation for all who believe.

While we would like to see ourselves in the role of Bella, the good girl who attracts and straightens out the bad boy, the Gospel says that we are not at all good. Jesus, in all His goodness, has loved us out of darkness and into light.

Add to all of this the lack of ambition for life, and you have three central characters who are living for nothing more than the Greco-Roman myth of romantic love. They are consumed by their feelings and desire only personal gratification through the realization of a complicated, romantic relationship. No noble pursuits add depth of character. Rather, two men who are living to claim and enjoy the affection of one woman have been glorified by the masses known as members of "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob."

So, there's my post on Twilight. Read it. Watch it. Enjoy it if you enjoy it. It merely fascinates me that a phenomenon with these undertones has so strongly gripped the popular culture. Anything so appealing to the masses deserves a critical eye. Have I given it the most scrupulous? Not quite. But it is what it is.

fear and hope

For the last two months almost I have been reading through Peter's first letter over and over again. Some days I read the entire letter, other days I read a few verses, and though I have enjoyed it and feasted on it all along, the Lord in recent weeks has been highlighting phrases that capture my thoughts and nestle into my soul.

At the end of Peter's address to wives he instructs them, "do not fear anything that is frightening." (3:6)

"Do not fear anything that is frightening."

So he is saying that there are things that are frightening. Rational, legitimate circumstances, individuals and powers that are rightly terrifying. It may seem redundant at first to tell someone not to be scared of things that are scary. Who would be afraid of something that is not? Right? But Peter is gentle enough to affirm that these women may have justifiable fears. It is one thing to say, "Do not fear because there is nothing to fear." Such a statement sounds demeaning, belittling. Almost as if to say, "You don't really get it; if you knew what I know you would understand that this is not really frightening."

Instead, he confirms the reality of dreadful things while requiring that they not be given power.

Dwelling on this phrase probed my heart for hidden fears. Some are big, some are small, and some are stupid, but here they are:

Fear of Stephen not coming home.
Fear of annoying or alienating him or others.
Fear of all our electronics breaking while he is gone.
Fear of being alone and unknown.
Fear of physical harm by random, evil men.

As I looked at my list the first time I realized how much I have given in to fear lately. The Lord graciously backed me up a few verses from the current instruction to not fear. What an overwhelming task to simply stopping being fearful of all these things I cannot control. But this command is at the end of a more saturated paragraph than just a suggestion to muster up unfearfulness.

In describing how Christian women are to befit themselves, Peter says, "let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening."

Now, there are so many little bits of this passage that I could pick apart and turn into a list of rules and regulations, but I am so deeply convicted by just one key phrase: "the holy women who hoped in God."

You see, in order to fear something, and I mean really fear it, I must value it at a premium, considering that its loss would fundamentally challenge or change who I am or my life's purpose and trajectory. Whatever I fear is a reflection of the desires of my heart and its true allegiance. Whatever I most fear losing is what I am hoping for above all else.

When I reexamine my list of fears, it is easy to see what my heart is hungering for most: Stephen, the approval of people, safety and ease.

Not to say these desires are all bad; they are not. But they are far too transient and uncontrollable to hope for. Would you not agree?

Which is why the descriptor hoped in God is so relevant, so poignant and so true. These women were not perfect by any measurement, but they were sold on the faithfulness and promise of their God, and the overflow of their hope in Him painted everything in their lives with glory. Peter touches on two other specific areas of life that are revolutionized by hope in Christ before he addresses fear.

He first points to the heart, the spirit within, the source from which all of life flows. Jen Smidt at The Resurgence expounded on "a gentle and quiet spirit" the other day. I found it both helpful and challenging:

Gentle does not mean mousy or weak. It does mean strength derived from and under the control of the Holy Spirit. The default response of our hearts is often harshness. It feels powerful and usually gets the job done. Children and husbands alike can be effectively and sinfully shut down by a harsh word or glance. A gentle woman will trust her Father’s provision, identify with the righteousness of Christ, and be filled with the Holy Spirit to such a degree that she will be known for her strength that shines brightly for God’s glory alone.

Quiet does not mean silent or without opinion. It does mean without noise. Quietness in our hearts is drowned out by the cacophony of voices of fear, worry, anger, and doubt. Difficult circumstances or trials turn up the volume and we succumb to the chaos. We lose the voice of Jesus in the midst of the cacophony. Peace prevails and rest ensues when we are quieted before our Savior and listen for his voice alone. Out of that quietness, the words of our mouths will be fitting, life-giving, and pleasing to God.

(Read the rest of her article here.)

The second arena is a woman's heart for her husband, an often debated stature for sure. Peter explains that the inner spirit of these God-hopeful women led them to submit to their husbands. Much could be said about how this directive is to be worked out in the practical aspects of marriage, but I believe that the woman whose hope is in God is willing and obedient in submitting to her husband because she trusts wholly in the provision of her heavenly Groom, Jesus. A heart of gratitude and submission to Christ reveals itself through humbly offering respect and deference to the other human heart it has been called to follow. This heart has relinquished the idols of control, always-being-right-ness and manipulation in exchange for the role of supporter, encourager and friend. I may not always be in the background and shadow of Stephen's public life, and I rarely feel that I am, but I pray I am always willing to be. I pray my heart toward him is soft and selfless in light of the Gospel.

Part of my submission to Stephen is this calling to the Army way of life. I have been called to be Stephen's wife, and as such I am also called to the military. If I am honest, I must admit I fight the calling regularly. Overall, I feel that I have settled with deployment, knowing that this is what God wants for us. But I want to nit-pick the inner workings of this organization and rehearse in my mind its inefficiencies far too often to honestly claim full submission. I pray I will relinquish my grip on the comfort and ease it disturbs so that my heart may engage in the greater mission of reaching this lost part of the world.

Having dealt already with fear, my attention is turned back to hope.

The Greek word used here is elpizō meaning "to wait for salvation with joy and full confidence."

I pray I will be a holy woman who "waits for salvation with joy and full confidence" in God alone, a daughter of Sarah. Sarah, who frequently doubted and "improved" upon God's plan, is remembered as a holy woman for her expectation that God would do what He said He would do.

My God has obtained, offered and promised the newness of all of life by the giving, slaying and rising of His Son. What more could be offered as the foundation for all of my hope? The answer is nothing, and I pray my heart always answers correctly.

the note that was taken from me

A criminal in the Greco-Roman world was issued, as a record of debt, a written note of indebtedness. When the crime warranted death, that note was fastened to the cross by the Roman authorities, declaring the crime for which the criminal was being executed.

Colossians 2:13-14 takes on fresh meaning in this light:

"And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross."

The soldiers who crucified Jesus fastened His accusation on His cross: "King of the Jews." Guilty of being the One True God.

The Father who allowed Jesus to be crucified fastened my accusation on His cross: "Proud, self-righteous rebel. Critical, judgmental, unfaithful idolator. Slothful skimper. Hypocritical, self-centered, egotistical user of people. Ungrateful, cowardly, sensual manipulator. Deserving of death by cruel torture." Guilty of cosmically offending and defaming the One True God.

Jesus forfeited His identity and took on mine at the exact moment that the wrath of God was coming for me. He absorbed it all, and in the sweet exchange of grace, His identity was offered to me. The One who had not sinned had become sin on my behalf, so that I might become the righteousness of God in Him (2 Corinthians 5:21).

"Because a sinless Savior died

My sinful soul is counted free

For God the just is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me"

~Before The Throne

my brother, Barabbas

Dear Barabbas,

You're on my mind today. I feel a strange connection to you that I've never felt before.

For a moment I want to see what you saw, feel what you felt. I think it would shake me to the core. I would never be the same.

Did you know? Did you ever realize what happened that Friday?

You woke up in prison. You went to sleep in your own bed.

The sun found you a prisoner. The moon found you a free man.

How did you do it? What words did you say? Did you treat the other prisoners nicely? Were you respectful of the guards? Did you do enough good things to outweigh your mutiny against Rome? Did you protect enough people to excuse your murderous reputation?

Somehow, I doubt it.

In a way I am jealous of the perspective you had, because our stories are the same on that day.

When your eyes first opened that morning, you were sentenced to death, resigned to justice, awaiting the punishment you knew you deserved. You had seen crosses. You knew what your treachery would earn if ever you were captured. Traitors to the crown of Rome lined the streets, the barely living and the long dead, vivid reminders of the wrath that awaited those who threatened the emperor. You had earned that status, that sentence, that misery.

How did you feel when you learned you were chosen? Were you shocked when the guard brought you out at their request? Were you proud and self-confident? Did you gloat as you left?

Or did you see Jesus on your way out? You must have known who He was. Were you astounded to see that His freedom was given to you? Had you any idea just how innocent He was?

You see, as you walked away to resume your life, He was led away to allow others to end His own. All the miracles, all the sermons, all the Scriptures He had memorized, all the acts of mercy were as nothing to Him. Everyone ignored His impeccable record. And all of the good that He had accomplished was credited to you. Certainly no one was actually thinking that you had behaved so well, but you found yourself reaping the benefits of perfect living in an instant.

Did you realize what was happening? You, and you alone, had any semblance of a notion what Jesus was doing that day. Whether you realized it or not, while everyone else was baffled by His horrifying torture and death, you alone were already walking in the shadow of the cross, covered by the blood of the Lamb.

You see, a transaction was made that day. The wrath of God was coming. Let there be no doubt. The wrath of God was always coming. From the apple in the garden to the hills outside your city, the vengeance of Almighty God was coming against those who rejected His love and established their own kingdom. Wrath was coming for you and me. For the mutinous, calloused-hearted, self-exalting race. Because a holy God, one who truly loves, cannot allow wickedness, Love's antithesis, to prevail. He would not be loving at all if He did.

So heaven's fury made a date with the earth. Retribution.

And heaven's flesh-clad Love accepted the invitation. Substitution.

To those who looked on, He appeared weak and passive, but in bewildering humility, the King of kings held His tongue and let you walk free in His place. And after watching your reentry into freedom, Jesus set His gaze on the hill. He dragged His self and His fuel to the altar of Calvary to intercept the punishment you traded Him for, I traded Him for.

Perhaps watching your freedom fanned His flame. Perhaps the faint reflection of the grander task at hand was the hope He clasped as He started down the road. Because He was not merely taking your punishment, though your guilt was exceedingly great. And He was not merely setting you free, though His love for you did compel Him. He was taking my guilt and punishment, and your cousin's, and my brother's, and the teenage boys who were looking for trouble at the park today, and the beautiful preschool girl who sits angelically through the service at church each week, and every person who has every lived. He was setting free the entire race, not from mere physical imprisonment in this life, but from the cast-iron bonds of slavery to sin and from the unspeakable agony of eternity apart from Love.

Oh Barabbas, His love for you was overwhelming! And yet it speaks but a faint whisper of the love He has for all humanity, a love He would shout with all His might from the cross: "It is finished!"

Your name, Barabbas, is altogether gripping. From the Aramaic root words "bar" and "Abba," "son of Abba," "son of a father or master." Privileged. Favored. Heir. As one who represented all who would accept the substitution offered by Jesus, all who would exchange freedom with Him, your name is the one we have all inherited. "When the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God."

I hope you realized who you were, my friend. I hope to meet with you one day when days are endless and hear how your frozen heart was thawed on that one good day for you.

I am grateful for your identity, Barabbas, for your presence in the story that is mine as well. All glory be to God--for Your Word, for Your Love, for Your goodness on display on Friday.

Daughter of Abba,

Katie

drenched

Philippians 2:1-16 [and how my heart should read and respond]

So if there is any encouragement in Christ [I want to encourage others in You—use me],

any comfort from love [I need You to love genuinely through me],

any participation in the Spirit [I forfeit the opportunity for walking in the Spirit in community when my life is about me],

any affection and sympathy [only one source for genuine—Jesus Christ’s example],

complete my joy by being of the same mind [we all need to live in Your mindset, Lord Jesus],

having the same love [You made us to love this way],

being in full accord and of one mind [true harmony].

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit [let my service be genuine acts of love, never a competition or to prove I am better],

but in humility count others more significant than yourselves [humility, choosing to rank myself, my needs and desires, below those of the people around me; genuine and deep interest in my friends and family].

Let each of you look not only to his own interests [but boy, that comes naturally—my food, my news, my bedtime, my exercise],

but look also to the interests of others [their jobs, relationships, schedules, hopes, fears, joys, frustrations, pains].

Have this mind among yourselves [a command—help me obey, help me choose this mindset, help me know Truth so that this mindset is mine],

which is yours in Christ Jesus [a promise—help me know You more so I may claim it],

who, though He was in the form of God [form = very nature—let this sink in somehow, Father—the demotion even to leave heaven’s glory],

did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped [count? consider, esteem, regard—whatever His evaluation looked like, He did not act on His merited status but rather gave it to us; still He is God, Jesus released all the honor and privilege that was due Him—He did not hold onto His position to enjoy exclusively for Himself, He gave it to us, the only hope we had was in His ability and desire to sacrifice—my soul was worth more to Him than comfort and the joy of heaven],

but made Himself nothing [intentionally, did it to Himself, left all glory behind, to be considered, counted as lowly by men],

taking [because it was not His inherent nature]

the form [the very essence]

of a servant [bondservant—compelled to remain in service by love for master],

being born [BORN—God left all pomp and prestige, entered the world the messy, bloody, chaotic way, like every other man since Adam]

in the likeness of men [He took the likeness of men because we are no longer the likeness of God—He had to take on our likeness to restore it to its created glory].

And [as if that were not enough]

being found in human form [He made Himself available, findable],

He humbled Himself [SOME MORE]

by becoming obedient [being fully man, He did have a choice, but He obeyed, unlike us]

to the point of death [love required that distance of obedience—my own is so short-lived—He could have turned back, forsaken us all, but He obeyed even though it cost Him what little He had left, namely the presence of His Father and breath],

even death on a cross [as He entered like every other man, He left the world the messy, bloody, chaotic way that every man and woman deserves to die, in the place of and to save the souls of every other man since Adam--the most painful, degrading and obscene means of execution known to man at the time, killed cruelly as a display of what happens to transgressors, except that He was not one—the Romans crucified criminals so that everyone knew the consequences of mutiny—Jesus Christ was crucified because every one of us has mutinied against the Kingdom of God—only His cross, His substitution on my cross, opens wide the gate and stands as a sign of freedom from wrath for all who rejoin the Father by Him].

Therefore [because He so clearly earned and deserves it]

God has highly exalted Him [Him, Jesus Christ, no one else, not even me]

and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name [far above my name],

so that at the name of Jesus [speak Your name over me ceaselessly]

every knee should bow [acknowledging worth, honor, allegiance, deference],

in heaven and on earth [that’s me]

and under the earth, and every tongue confess [so that hearts and lives truly reveal]

that Jesus Christ is Lord [the Bondservant is my Master],

to the glory of God the Father [my reason for living].

Therefore [action item because all of this is true],

my beloved, as you have always obeyed [I wish I always had, but I want to—desperately],

so now, not only as in my presence [not so other people can see]

but much more in my absence [Lord, You know my inner heart],

work out your own salvation [living the life of Christ]

with fear and trembling [on purpose, recognizing the price He paid and the calling He’s made],

for it is God who works in you [praise Him! I am not trying in vain!],

both to will [You give desire for holiness, You inform my heart and my pursuits, You spur me on]

and to work [I make myself available, but You are the Refiner, the Craftsman, the Artist]

for His good pleasure [what You do in my heart and life is to bring You greater joy, love and glory—no other end result is as sweet, as worthwhile, as You].

Do [actually do]

all things [yes, all things]

without [lacking]

grumbling [complaining, getting huffy, having an attitude, feeling demoted or disrespected]

or questioning [be submissive, reliable, trusting that in all these things my Father is still working for His good pleasure],

that [for the following reason]

you may be [because He is interested in who I am becoming more than in what I am doing]

blameless [without fault]

and innocent [if I have been serving out of the love and example of Christ],

children of God [for that is my identity]

without blemish [above reproach]

in the midst [right alongside, surrounded by, despite my surroundings and even in contrast to]

of a crooked and twisted generation [who will take shortcuts, laugh at halfhearted work as a joke and sneer at faithfulness as a mockery, declare what is wrong to be right and what is right to be wrong, and use every opportunity to build “self” at the expense of others],

among whom [do not avoid them, be among but distinct from]

you shine [in purity and love]

as lights in the world [because Jesus, the Light of the world, lives in and through me],

holding fast [because I have to grasp something]

to the word of life [rather than power and prestige, hold Jesus, the One of greatest power and supreme prestige because He showed the greatest, humblest love],

so that [there is an ultimate goal]

in the day of Christ [however distant that rewarding day may be, when all Truth is revealed]

I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain [everything is meaningless and empty if I do not strive after Christ, all for naught if I have not revealed Him to an otherwise hopeless world by pursuing His humble love as an overflow from my heart to draw all men and women to Him].

WITH, not WHAT

In a recent sermon series at Buckhead Church about the prodigal son, one of the teachers focused a week on the older son who was really just as rebellious and hateful as the younger. The only difference was that he covered it up with all the right actions until he reached his breaking point.

When the young squanderer was welcomed home with celebration and feasting, the do-good-er was irate. After years and years of obedience and compliance, everything in the older brother was outraged that all his service was ignored while the return of one so flagrantly self-absorbed was the cause of great rejoicing. In true older sibling fashion, he refused to join in the festivities and pouted outside until his father checked his dignity by the door to seek reconciliation with his other child.

Older brother's built-up bitterness spills out. He has slaved for his father faithfully for years. Why has he never been celebrated? This other son has spent every last cent on prostitutes and parties only to spark the biggest one he's ever seen upon returning. Why, after all older brother has done, has he not been rewarded or even recognized?

The father understands. Older brother and younger brother have both missed his heart. He says to older brother, "Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours." Older brother went on and on about WHAT he had done to deserve more than younger brother, never realizing that the celebration for his sibling was not over WHAT he had done, but the fact that he was reunited WITH his father.

WITH, not WHAT.

The Father wants our hearts WITH Him, not our bodies doing WHAT we think will impress or appease Him.

My mom embodies this perfectly.

She will do ANYTHING for our family to all just be WITH each other. When I am home, she stops whatever she is doing so that she can be with me. She even does things to serve me so that we can be together.

Just this weekend she sat on my bathroom floor and painted my toenails while I dried my hair. I know, she's ridiculous.

But I am so grateful for the constant reminder that my heart, my affection and my presence before Him is what my Heavenly Father desires and celebrates. Yes, actions that please Him flow out of my heart when I am WITH Him, but togetherness is what He wants, what He died to facilitate, what I live to pursue.

making the right comparison

Mrs. Oakley said something in our Community Group during high school that has been a theme throughout my years since then:

When comparison begins, contentment ends.

Especially for girls comparison either breeds pride or self-contempt, but for whatever reason we persist in comparing and ranking ourselves among others in our minds (or at least I do). So today Jesus' words were particularly poignant. In Luke 18:9-14, "He told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt." (v.9)

The parable portrays a Pharisee boasting before the Lord that he is not like other sinners and a tax collector begging for mercy in recognition of his sinfulness. Jesus then explains that the one who humbled himself was the one who was justified before God. Clearly the heart of the tax collector was poised for relationship with God, while the heart of the Pharisee delighted in a false sense of self-sufficiency.

I believe each of these men made comparisons that led their hearts to these positions.

The Pharisee looked around at the others who were approaching God and saw that he was living in greater moral purity than these. Compared to everyone around him, he seemed to be doing very well. Compared to everyone around him, he had every reason for pride. I do this so often. It is so easy to find people to watch who make me think I am doing well before the Lord, but it is just as easy to compare myself to people whose lives highlight my flaws. Neither mindset is what I want. Neither mindset allows room for the Lord to work in my heart.

The tax collector made a different comparison. The only worthwhile comparison. And it brought him to repentance and justification and true righteousness. The tax collector compared himself to the holiness of God. He knew what he would find if he were to look up and gaze upon the perfections of the Most High; it was for this reason that he stood far off and "would not even lift up his eyes to heaven." (v. 13) He knew what he would see: the throne of God, the righteous judge, who has commanded that His people be holy even as He is holy. One glimpse of God and the tax collector knew he could never earn the right to approach such beauty and holiness.

But that glimpse afforded him the courage to humble himself and ask for mercy. In comparing himself to the Lord of heaven, he saw the glorious love that leads man to repentance. He recognized that on his own he had no grounds for approaching the King, that his own righteousness was as a filthy rag, a presentation he could never offer to the spotless Lamb. But he also saw the robe. The robe of righteousness that is merited by the Holy One alone was extended to this tax collector.

And worship began.

object lessons

What would happen if Bobby Dodd Stadium made only 10 soft pretzels and 4 hotdogs to feed all the fans who came out for the Georgia v. Georgia Tech football game? Someone would lose their job. People would be outraged. It might cause a scene.

Jesus' disciples were simply trying to avoid such a scene one evening as Jesus finished teaching. They surveyed the crowd, saw 5,000 men, up to 15,000 women and children, and logically suggested that Jesus send them home before they were too tired and famished to travel. Not a bad idea, right?

Apparently Jesus had a better one. "You feed them," He told His friends. To which they responded, "We have no more than five loaves and two fish--unless we are to go and buy food for all these people." Can you hear the sarcasm? I can, because that is exactly what my response would have been. It would have required at least one year's salary to afford food for so many people.

So as the disciples questioned how they could feed so many people on so little food, Jesus gave them directions that did not seem to clear the haziness at all. He told them to have the crowd sit down in groups of 50. They did so.

It is easy from our side of the story to skip over the entire thought processes they must have been having or realize how absurd the entire situation must have seemed. We know how it ends, but they were clueless. Still, they trusted Jesus. I can imagine that if it had been me, even if I had physically done as He asked, I probably would have rolled my eyes, chuckled with some of the other disciples and inwardly questioned the decisions, authority and ability of Jesus even as my hands seemed to be confident in what He was doing. It really just did not make one lick of sense to them.

But they obeyed. Jesus blessed the food. Everyone ate. And 12 baskets of leftovers were gathered.

My first prayer was, "I want to always obey, even when I don't understand." I pray that I never doubt the Lord's ability and desire to provide for me.

But my second prayer was for my perception of His heart. He wants to give us more than the bare minimum for existence. He is not scraping together just enough for me to survive on. His heart's desire is for me to flourish. That may not always mean He will give me physical comforts, and I may not even always have an abundance of food in the pantry. But He delights in giving me good things. Because the disciples trusted and obeyed, He was able to give them more than they would have had if they had not shared the little they began with.

We also see in this that His aim in asking them to do what seemed impossible ("you feed them") was not to test them or to watch them struggle and strive. He was making a point. On their own, they might as well give up. But with Him, all things are possible. He wanted them to experience the desperation of the human race and the all-sufficiency of God incarnate. He wanted them to reach the end of themselves, not so that they would cower under their lack, and not so that they would hopelessly recognize their submission to their Creator. He wanted them to see a real and vivid dilemma and instantly know the provision of God. He wanted them to find joy in the loving abundance that comes from the Bread of Life. He built their faith in a difficult but small situation so that they might remember His heart when life became harder. And it did. But they knew who Jesus was because they had been challenged and found Him to be the strong and perfect antonym of all their human efforts.

Hopeless circumstance I see

Helplessly I run to Thee

Not my strength but Thine alone

Your holy, tender heart made known

Grows my confidence anew

That all things good are worked in You

Wholehearted faith be ever mine

Through every fire until refined

wrapping up Exodus

The end of the book of Exodus begins the more tedious readings in the Bible: the beginning of the Law, specifications for the tabernacle, the building of the tabernacle along with all the accessories, utensils and garments, more laws to come followed by stimulating geneological accounts of the people of Israel. It is at this point that reading through the Bible in a year becomes a little less glamorous, a little more daunting, and honestly, a little more boring.

But something captured my imagination today as I read about Aaron's priestly garments. All along I've been trying to remind myself that these specifications are reflections of the original institutions in heaven, but I had never considered what that must mean for the beauty of Christ.

Exodus 39 says, "8 He made the breastpiece, in skilled work, in the style of the ephod, of gold, blue and purple and scarlet yarns, and fine twined linen. 9It was square. They made the breastpiece doubled, a span its length and a span its breadth when doubled. 10And they set in it four rows of stones. A row of sardius, topaz, and carbuncle was the first row; 11and the second row, an emerald, a sapphire, and a diamond; 12and the third row, a jacinth, an agate, and an amethyst; 13and the fourth row, a beryl, an onyx, and a jasper. They were enclosed in settings of gold filigree. 14There were twelve stones with their names according to the names of the sons of Israel. They were like signets, each engraved with its name, for the twelve tribes. 15And they made on the breastpiece twisted chains like cords, of pure gold. 16And they made two settings of gold filigree and two gold rings, and put the two rings on the two edges of the breastpiece. 17And they put the two cords of gold in the two rings at the edges of the breastpiece. 18They attached the two ends of the two cords to the two settings of filigree. Thus they attached it in front to the shoulder pieces of the ephod. 19Then they made two rings of gold, and put them at the two ends of the breastpiece, on its inside edge next to the ephod. 20And they made two rings of gold, and attached them in front to the lower part of the two shoulder pieces of the ephod, at its seam above the skillfully woven band of the ephod. 21And they bound the breastpiece by its rings to the rings of the ephod with a lace of blue, so that it should lie on the skillfully woven band of the ephod, and that the breastpiece should not come loose from the ephod, as the LORD had commanded Moses."

My mind and heart have been fascinated by the implications of the garments fashioned for those who were the foreshadowers of Christ.

First, if such ornate design went into the garments of the Levitical priests, how much more intricate is the perfection of Jesus for His duty as Great High Priest. How perfectly God formed Him in the virgin womb. How intentional every step He took on earth, every word that came from His mouth, every life touched by His hand. If no detail or extravagance was spared in the finite replica for Aaron, how much more confidence can we have in the perfectly, intentionally, infinitely extravagant Person of Jesus Christ?

Second, how beautiful He is. How holy He is. The breastpiece held 12 stones, the colors of which I am not familiar. How expensive and rare and precious. The garments were white with gold intertwined in the cords and embroidery. Literal gold that had to be flattened and shaved into threads. The priest was to shine, to be radiant, splendid. Oh how beautiful the body of Jesus. On earth we decorated His with stripes, with ribbons of crimson, with intertwined thorns. But when He returns He will shine in brilliant light, and He will not need a sign such as Aaron had. Aaron's sign was for his forehead and read, "Holy to the Lord." But when Jesus comes, there will be no question. No soul will doubt His holiness. He will be clothed in the brightest white, piercing darkness once and for all.

And every eye will see His beauty, His infinite worth, His all-consuming holiness. Not just Moses, not just the redeemed. Every eye. Physically. Face-to-face, as much as our faces can withstand.

And every knee will bow. The weight will be too great, the contrast too stark, the reality too humbling. We will realize how unworthy are our eyes to behold such beauty and we will bow our knees, our selves, before the King, the Savior, the Great High Priest.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus!

God and peer pressure

The disciples did not get it. Simply did not get it.

Peter and the rest of them thought they were on the verge of something huge. They thought they had beat the crowd to the next big thing. And they had. But not at all like what they'd anticipated. They imagined that their relationship to Jesus in the early, less glamorous days was earning them a spot in the inner circle of the government that would overthrow Rome. They figured that any day now Jesus would sit them down for a strategic battle plan meeting, assign positions of authority for as soon as the coup was complete, and send them out to rally the masses. Victory. Luxury. Ease.

Knowing how their stories actually ended, it's easy to think they were just ridiculous. I often take comfort in the fact that they could hear Jesus speak so plainly about the reality of the Kingdom of God and still miss Him so grossly. But really, their expectations were not that crazy. Israel's history was wrought with sin, captivity, restoration, prosperity. God had always sent a deliverer when the people were humbled, and they expected Jesus was the Great Deliverer. He would free them from Rome and establish His never-ending kingdom. The Jewish nation would thrive under their God-King, and the disciples would be there helping to make it happen. What they wanted Jesus to do was really not so outrageous, at least not humanly speaking.

Praise God that He does not need our interpretation of circumstances or our recommendations on the next best course of action! Can we even count the perspectives the disciples simply could not comprehend?

Rome and Israel alike were dominated by sin.

The Pharisees, the Jews and the Gentiles were all equally separated from God.

The animal sacrifices and the intercession of the high priest were not enough to atone for sin.

Jesus, the Son of God, had been pursuing all human hearts since Creation. He left a throne for that cause; He did not come to gain one.

Jesus' entire life was lived in total comprehension of the Father's eternal plan. No detail, no word, no action transpired apart from this knowledge.

What the disciples were looking for was not bad. It could have been a good thing, for Israel at least. Sure, some of their early motivations were questionable, but in their humanity, without the indwelling Holy Spirit, their ideas were not terrible. But compared to the Truth, compared to the greater reality than what they could see, compared to the holiness and magnificent love of God, they were totally lost, in the dark, clueless. And I am so grateful for that.

Thank you, Lord, that you do what you intend to do with or without my understanding or consent. No amount of objection from me can change Your heart, Your plan, Your story. Thank You for listening to me, for having compassion on me, for giving Your attention to the desires and distresses of my heart. But thank You for already having a perfect plan. A plan for Your glory. A plan for my good, for my conformity to the image of Your Son. A plan for salvation, for the redemption of all Your people. Thank You for involving me, but never depending on me. Thank you for letting me learn from You, from Your patient discipleship.

Let my time before You cause radical change in me as it did in Peter.

"And He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes and be killed, and after three days rise again. And He said this plainly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him." Mark 8:31-32

"Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, '...This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.' Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus." Acts 4:8, 11-13

God is so far beyond peer pressure. There is hope for me.