Today marks the halfway mark on our first year of marriage, and because I am looking for anything and everything to celebrate these days, I thought I'd post a few pictures for kicks and giggles. Many of you have been tracking with us for as long as these pictures have been around (some much longer), but in case you missed it, here we are:
Our first picture together, and possibly our longest conversations up to that point: Theta Xi Broomball, December 2005
One year later at AXO's Crush Party.
Our first kiss six months ago.
Our first Tech game as The Kumps this past Saturday.
Praising the Lord for 6 months of sweet time together and grace in the growing!
A few weeks ago I made my first ever batch of Do-It-Yourself Laundry Detergent. I have really enjoyed it and want to pass it along, but I took it from my friend Megan Martin's blog so you should check it out there. She did such a great job with taking pictures and figuring up the savings that I didn't feel the need to re-do all her great work. :)
The Martins: DIY Laundry Detergent: It's official.. I have finally jumped on the bandwagon for making my own laundry detergent. I was so skeptical at first, but after doing it...
For the last two months almost I have been reading through Peter's first letter over and over again. Some days I read the entire letter, other days I read a few verses, and though I have enjoyed it and feasted on it all along, the Lord in recent weeks has been highlighting phrases that capture my thoughts and nestle into my soul.
At the end of Peter's address to wives he instructs them, "do not fear anything that is frightening." (3:6)
"Do not fear anything that is frightening."
So he is saying that there are things that are frightening. Rational, legitimate circumstances, individuals and powers that are rightly terrifying. It may seem redundant at first to tell someone not to be scared of things that are scary. Who would be afraid of something that is not? Right? But Peter is gentle enough to affirm that these women may have justifiable fears. It is one thing to say, "Do not fear because there is nothing to fear." Such a statement sounds demeaning, belittling. Almost as if to say, "You don't really get it; if you knew what I know you would understand that this is not really frightening."
Instead, he confirms the reality of dreadful things while requiring that they not be given power.
Dwelling on this phrase probed my heart for hidden fears. Some are big, some are small, and some are stupid, but here they are:
Fear of Stephen not coming home.
Fear of annoying or alienating him or others.
Fear of all our electronics breaking while he is gone.
Fear of being alone and unknown.
Fear of physical harm by random, evil men.
As I looked at my list the first time I realized how much I have given in to fear lately. The Lord graciously backed me up a few verses from the current instruction to not fear. What an overwhelming task to simply stopping being fearful of all these things I cannot control. But this command is at the end of a more saturated paragraph than just a suggestion to muster up unfearfulness.
In describing how Christian women are to befit themselves, Peter says, "let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening."
Now, there are so many little bits of this passage that I could pick apart and turn into a list of rules and regulations, but I am so deeply convicted by just one key phrase: "the holy women who hoped in God."
You see, in order to fear something, and I mean really fear it, I must value it at a premium, considering that its loss would fundamentally challenge or change who I am or my life's purpose and trajectory. Whatever I fear is a reflection of the desires of my heart and its true allegiance. Whatever I most fear losing is what I am hoping for above all else.
When I reexamine my list of fears, it is easy to see what my heart is hungering for most: Stephen, the approval of people, safety and ease.
Not to say these desires are all bad; they are not. But they are far too transient and uncontrollable to hope for. Would you not agree?
Which is why the descriptor hoped in God is so relevant, so poignant and so true. These women were not perfect by any measurement, but they were sold on the faithfulness and promise of their God, and the overflow of their hope in Him painted everything in their lives with glory. Peter touches on two other specific areas of life that are revolutionized by hope in Christ before he addresses fear.
He first points to the heart, the spirit within, the source from which all of life flows. Jen Smidt at The Resurgence expounded on "a gentle and quiet spirit" the other day. I found it both helpful and challenging: Gentle does not mean mousy or weak. It does mean strength derived from and under the control of the Holy Spirit. The default response of our hearts is often harshness. It feels powerful and usually gets the job done. Children and husbands alike can be effectively and sinfully shut down by a harsh word or glance. A gentle woman will trust her Father’s provision, identify with the righteousness of Christ, and be filled with the Holy Spirit to such a degree that she will be known for her strength that shines brightly for God’s glory alone.
Quiet does not mean silent or without opinion. It does mean without noise. Quietness in our hearts is drowned out by the cacophony of voices of fear, worry, anger, and doubt. Difficult circumstances or trials turn up the volume and we succumb to the chaos. We lose the voice of Jesus in the midst of the cacophony. Peace prevails and rest ensues when we are quieted before our Savior and listen for his voice alone. Out of that quietness, the words of our mouths will be fitting, life-giving, and pleasing to God.
The second arena is a woman's heart for her husband, an often debated stature for sure. Peter explains that the inner spirit of these God-hopeful women led them to submit to their husbands. Much could be said about how this directive is to be worked out in the practical aspects of marriage, but I believe that the woman whose hope is in God is willing and obedient in submitting to her husband because she trusts wholly in the provision of her heavenly Groom, Jesus. A heart of gratitude and submission to Christ reveals itself through humbly offering respect and deference to the other human heart it has been called to follow. This heart has relinquished the idols of control, always-being-right-ness and manipulation in exchange for the role of supporter, encourager and friend. I may not always be in the background and shadow of Stephen's public life, and I rarely feel that I am, but I pray I am always willing to be. I pray my heart toward him is soft and selfless in light of the Gospel.
Part of my submission to Stephen is this calling to the Army way of life. I have been called to be Stephen's wife, and as such I am also called to the military. If I am honest, I must admit I fight the calling regularly. Overall, I feel that I have settled with deployment, knowing that this is what God wants for us. But I want to nit-pick the inner workings of this organization and rehearse in my mind its inefficiencies far too often to honestly claim full submission. I pray I will relinquish my grip on the comfort and ease it disturbs so that my heart may engage in the greater mission of reaching this lost part of the world.
Having dealt already with fear, my attention is turned back to hope.
The Greek word used here is elpizō meaning "to wait for salvation with joy and full confidence."
I pray I will be a holy woman who "waits for salvation with joy and full confidence" in God alone, a daughter of Sarah. Sarah, who frequently doubted and "improved" upon God's plan, is remembered as a holy woman for her expectation that God would do what He said He would do.
My God has obtained, offered and promised the newness of all of life by the giving, slaying and rising of His Son. What more could be offered as the foundation for all of my hope? The answer is nothing, and I pray my heart always answers correctly.
The week has certainly had highs and lows for us, like any other, I suppose.
On Tuesday night I had the joy of celebrating with our dear friends and former roommates, Jon and Julie Koon, as they welcomed their firstborn son, Elliot Thomas Koon. He was born 9lbs 11oz, 20.75 inches long at 12:13am. Marisa, Rene and I were able to visit much later in the day, and we are so excited to love on this little guy for the rest of his life! (picture coming soon!)
Early Wednesday morning I woke up with a stomach bug that kept me from work and everything else through Saturday. My sweet mom came up Wednesday afternoon and spent the night to take care of me. So grateful for her! It was the first time I had really considered that Stephen will probably miss a few more bouts of sickness. Not having him at home was harder than I would have imagined beforehand, but we are both so thankful for nearby family and friends who are so quick to take care of me. Even before my mom came Lauren went to the store for crackers and Gatorade. I could not ask for a sweeter roommate. Please join me in praying that I have not spread the plague to either of them!
Last Sunday was the first day that the reality of separation set in. Stephen and I found ourselves spending the afternoon resting together after church even before we were engaged. Kimberly Johnson accompanied me to church to take the edge off of that aspect of loneliness, but it was the stillness of the afternoon that really caught me by surprise. I would so appreciate your prayers that the Lord's presence be especially tangible in those moments, both for me and for Stephen.
And speaking of Stephen, he is hanging in through these weeks of training. Unfortunately we cannot so broadly publish the details of his schedule and location, but we expect he'll be home for several days in about a week! Please continue to pray that the Lord will provide a believing or interested companion for this deployment. The military environment is typically a spiritually dry one, but we pray for some sort of saturation however the Lord sees fit. In the meantime, feel free to drop Stephen a line at any time at kump.stephen@gmail.com.
Tomorrow I have a meeting with the FRG (Family Readiness Group) for our Troop. I am so grateful for the women the Lord has provided through this organization. They are the Army wives, girlfriends and mothers who know so much more than I do about the system, whether they have experienced deployment before or not. Please pray for opportunities to love and serve them well tomorrow and in the difficult weeks to come.
Stephen left early this morning for the last stint of his state-ordered training. He will have one more week at home at the end of September (we think/hope), but thus begins the "single wife" season as Lauren moves in today and I start to figure out a new rhythm for life.
We spent a wonderful long weekend at the beach with his parents, sisters, brother-in-law, nephews and Granny. I cannot think of a better way we could have used those last few days together. We had a blast with family and 16 sweet hours together road-tripping.
Grief did not truly set in until we turned out the light last night. There are certainly times when I dread doing things by myself, like going to church, taking care of my car, things with other couples. But the over-arching sentiment is always simple sadness over missing Stephen. Incredible how quickly and thoroughly he has become my best friend and my better half. These tears wet my pillow as we fell asleep together one more time last night.
Today, however, I am praising the Lord for mercies that come new every morning!
"Give us this day our daily bread..."
Joy. Purpose. Peace.
Today I am feasting on Christ, overwhelmed by His provision over my heart and soul. I am overflowing with gratitude for the precious people who have texted, called, emailed and prayed. I am looking forward to eating frozen yogurt for dinner, helping Lauren move in, spending time with the friends I've missed so much, and finding a new routine for a new season.
I almost feel guilty. The temptation is there. I feel like I should be crying my eyes out, hypersensitive, wanting to remind everyone how hard this is. But today just is not hard. Miraculously, graciously, affectionately not a challenge.
So I'll take it!
And when the temptation creeps back in to borrow tomorrow's difficulty, or Christmas's or July's, I am reminded of the Israelites gathering manna in the wilderness. In response to their cries of starvation in the desert, the Lord gives them bread from heaven each morning to satisfy their needs throughout the day. The bread, called "manna," was to be used as the Lord instructed:
"'Gather of it, each one of you, as much as he can eat...' And the people of Israel did so. They gathered, some more, some less...whoever gathered much had nothing left over, and whoever gathered little had no lack. Each of them gathered as much as he could eat. And Moses said to them, 'Let no one leave any of it over till the morning.' But they did not listen to Moses. Some left part of it till the morning, and it bred worms and stank...Morning by morning they gathered it, each as much as he could eat..." Exodus 16
Today I have a hunger, and the Lord has satiated it completely. To worry about tomorrow or the coming year as a whole would be to hoard a year's worth of worries to fit under one day's worth of grace. Today's grace is sufficient for today. And as hard and strenuous as some of the approaching days will be, they will not come alone; they will come with a full portion of all-sustaining grace.
Stephen's mom, Loette, was also sweetly encouraging this weekend. She has also faced the challenges of deployment in different phases of life, and I am overwhelmingly grateful to be so close to someone who has shared this burden. She said it can be tempting to view this deployment as something to "get over" before we can move on with the rest of our lives, especially given that we have not quite been married six months yet. But what she said next, and what I must continually be reminded of, is that deployment is now and it is life. This is the purpose for which we were married, this is the calling we have been given, this is where our vows and our prayers of commitment to God and to each other meet reality.
And that excites me! We are one flesh no matter where our bodies are located, and we have been uniquely called to this time and place and mission to know God more and to make Him known. Praise the Lord for giving us hard things to do!
Now, that does not mean that I will relish every moment Stephen is away, or that I don't sometimes hope the next 13 months pass quickly. We did get married for a reason, in hopes that we would actually spend our lives together, and to deny that desire would be an indicator of hearts set askew. But there is overwhelming hope and joy in the presence of Christ and the good news of His gospel, that this life and this marriage are not about us or our happiness, and can therefore be beneficiaries of the hardship we expect in the year we have just begun.
Song of the week: "O Love That Will Not Let Me Go" by Indelible Grace
O Joy that seekest me through pain
I cannot close my heart to Thee
I trace the rainbow through the rain
And feel the promise is not vain
That morn' shall tearless be.
"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
Below is a short summary of things we would love your prayers over as we move into mobilization. Thank you so much for bringing us before the throne of grace. We are excited to see what God has in store for the coming year.
Prayer Requests:
--Spiritual, physical, mental and emotional safety for both Stephen and I as we are apart.
--Companionship for Stephen in an environment that is largely void of the Gospel and non-conducive to meaningful relationships.
--Opportunities for Stephen to live the Gospel.
--Success in his mission and in leading his men well.
--Companionship for me and wisdom in how to spend my time.
--Joy for both of us as we enter a more difficult season of life.
--Meaningful communication between us as we seek to continue building a Gospel-centered marriage long-distance.
