Already my eyes are brimming with tears of gratitude for the life and legacy of Rebecca St. James. As I have written before, music, more than any other single factor in my formative years, has pushed me into the presence of God and shaped the woman I have become (and am still becoming). From the time I was 8 years old until now, nothing has held more power to point me toward Christ or away from Him than the melodies and lyrics I allow to permeate my mind.
With great confidence I can say that Rebecca's aforementioned song has been the single most influential piece of music or literature to shape my heart other than the very Word of God.
I wish I could remember the first time I heard "Wait For Me" but to this day I know that it is number 8 on the "Transform" album. It is also the only song in my collection that I will absolutely listen to every single time it comes on shuffle. Though the lyrics seem cheesy if I am not in a romantic state of mind (though I typically am), the passion behind the song is just as much my heart-cry at age 23 as it was that first day when I was 13.
In the middle of my most awkward and hormonal years of confusion, I knew a few things. I truly loved Jesus with all of my heart and wanted to please Him above all else. "Wait For Me" also highlighted another very important life fact: I wanted to love well the man God would send to be my husband. I began to claim the meaning of my name as part of God's calling on my life: "pure one." I came to view my body as it is: God's temple. And I experienced immediately the segregation that my radical standards would create.
Surely it will surprise many people who know me now to learn that in middle school I was absolutely obsessed with my first kiss. It is actually quite comical now to remember how imminent I believed that event to be. No opportunity remotely presented itself until my senior year of high school. But my heart was enraptured by the thought and my imagination would not rest. I vividly remember the day I realized that I had exhausted every plausible scenario for how it might happen. In the disappointment of the new boredom that settled in my mind, the Spirit of God spoke to my heart. "Hey Kate, you care about this just a little too much. Can I have it? How about we save your first kiss for your wedding day?" With Rebecca's lyrics ever fresh in my mind, I embraced this commitment wholeheartedly. "Cool!" I thought, "Let's do it!"
One decade later, I am 23. The road has not been easy, and my journey has not been perfect, but the countdown is on. Only 72 days and 5 1/2 hours until my first kiss. But who's counting?
It scares me to think how my heart may have responded if I had been listening to the "music of the day" back in 2000. Not that everyone who listened to *Nsync or Britney has train-wrecked their life. I do not mean that at all. But I know my heart and life would be different. And especially to consider the values that contemporary pop music affords today, hearts like mine are set to fail if living to the tunes of Kesha and Miley.
And so, it is with great humility and joy that I celebrate Rebecca St. James' own engagement and upcoming marriage. Her commitment to purity and her integrity to live it publicly has radically changed my life. Not only has it shaped my focus and activity over the last decade, but she has, perhaps unknowingly, invested riches upon riches in the quality of my marriage to Stephen Kump. He and I owe a huge debt of gratitude to this woman in the Lord for her faithful stewardship of conviction, talent and influence. We have been preserved for each other in her own waiting.
So as she and I enter married life in the same year, I pray her marriage will be infinitely more effective in ministering than her singleness has been. I can only imagine what Rebecca's married life will hold for the Kingdom of God if He has used her so powerfully in what may seem to have been an extended period of singleness. Look out, world! Now she has a partner and should no longer be alone. I celebrate and rejoice with her, give great thanks for her, and look forward to expressing my gratitude for her in person one day.
Mine is only one story. Lord, let there be millions more.
1 comment:
You told me to comment sometime- so here it is! This post changed my life, and in writing my own blog post about this subject, I wanted to come back and revisit it. Thank you for your courage and your willingness to share your experiences to the spiritual benefit of others. I am trying to pass it on to the youth girls small group I lead on Wednesdays, they are so hungry for guidance when it comes to their favorite subject when we are together- boys! I hope that they will be encouraged by the things the Lord leads me to share with them. <3 you!
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