writing out of the pit

In my mind I am a wretch

Stark reality is filth

Boils of pride, consumed with self

Wreaking violent guilt

Eyes cast down see only sin

Hopelessness enshrouds

Suffocated, choking cough

Engulfed in hell's hot clouds

But then I know You with me

Scandalous meeting here

Holy God to wretched girl

Whispers something in my ear

They are love words soft and pure

Set all my tear drops free

Soothing warmth heals inside out

His blood is liberating me

Blessed power from the throne

Of the One who became sin

Precious presence of His grace

Letting me begin again

Born anew in Spirit life

No longer blistered, bruised and sore

Robes of righteousness now mine

The cost too great to now forget

Or not believe the Truth

Faithful Love is faithful still

Though object is uncouth

Power flows when mind is set

Spirit-fixed is life

Death abounds on days of flesh

Source of crushing strife

Love so steady hems me in

Before and behind

Present, attentive, listening

Eager for me to find

Blessed tomb stands empty still

Though Enemy's contradictory

I spoke with Christ this morning

He's giving me His victory

Tashi's 24! (and 2.5 months)

Tashi's birthday was in April, but because I didn't get to see her until the 4th of JUly, I couldn't post the central portion of her gift until now. She's probably my most faithful follower anyway, so now you have an electronic copy, Tash :)

I love you!

Dear Tash,

My first thought when I met you was

"She's too old to be my friend!"

I would have laughed if I had known

How far that would be from the end!

We went for pads and pretzels

(at least we rode with style!)

But we left with something new

Not found on any grocery aisle

See, I was praying for a friend

And my mom was praying too

So into freshman loneliness

Jesus sweetly gave me you

It really started with a hug

(which of course makes great sense now)

And as many brown couch late nights

As our schedules would allow

Jennifer's toothbrush, naming Scooty

And our first 4th of JUly

Laid foundations for a friendship

Born of our Savior's sweet supply

For when we ask within His will

His blessings never hesitate

He knows and meets us promptly

Never early, never late

Sunday nights spent praying

Eternally wrote you on my soul

We learned to honor Him by asking BIG

Proclaiming He holds all control

Oh the prayers we've seen Him answer!

Rhymes cannot contain them all!

Abby, Bo, AXO, AGD, China, President, Celanese, Rach & Petey

Not to mention thousands small!

And though we grow together

We have our finer moments too

Oh the laughs that come to mind

As I try to name a few

"Let's make ringtones!" "Let's sit and read!"

"Let's take this spiritual gifts test!"

Of all our great ideas

"Old Pride and Prejudice!" was our best

We sure know our Zac Efron

Thanks to HSM and Hairspray

We know how to repair bumpers

With strings found on the freeway

We should have known that at the beach

Our fair skin burns without sunscreen

"Step Up" was a double feature

'Cause it's the best we'd ever seen!

Belting "Wicked" while in Hannah

You came as my formal date

"Oh there were 7 dwarves!!"

Tash, you're often a bit late ;)

You laughed at "August Rush"

Though I still don't quite know why

But when you saw me you laughed harder

Because my eyes were far from dry

We crashed at Alpha Chi Omega

Late one night in San Diego

But by far my favorite pastime

Is classification by potato

I am so glad to have you with me

As we search for zesty curly fries and sweet potato soufflé

No one else has shared my heart

In remotely the same way

You have been faithful, you are true

Even when it's hard to hear

And though our lives are far apart

Our hearts are always very near

No one else has been so loyal

You have pushed me toward the throne

And our Jesus deserves all glory

For the ways in which we've grown

You are nerdy through and through

You are nerdy to your core

But that's where Jesus reigns supreme

As the one that you adore

Thank you for sharing Him with me

Over all these last four years

So we may love Him more and more

On that great day when He appears

We will worship Him forever

Together grateful, on our knees

Captivated by His splendor

Making new all the eye sees

Love,

Kate

WITH, not WHAT

In a recent sermon series at Buckhead Church about the prodigal son, one of the teachers focused a week on the older son who was really just as rebellious and hateful as the younger. The only difference was that he covered it up with all the right actions until he reached his breaking point.

When the young squanderer was welcomed home with celebration and feasting, the do-good-er was irate. After years and years of obedience and compliance, everything in the older brother was outraged that all his service was ignored while the return of one so flagrantly self-absorbed was the cause of great rejoicing. In true older sibling fashion, he refused to join in the festivities and pouted outside until his father checked his dignity by the door to seek reconciliation with his other child.

Older brother's built-up bitterness spills out. He has slaved for his father faithfully for years. Why has he never been celebrated? This other son has spent every last cent on prostitutes and parties only to spark the biggest one he's ever seen upon returning. Why, after all older brother has done, has he not been rewarded or even recognized?

The father understands. Older brother and younger brother have both missed his heart. He says to older brother, "Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours." Older brother went on and on about WHAT he had done to deserve more than younger brother, never realizing that the celebration for his sibling was not over WHAT he had done, but the fact that he was reunited WITH his father.

WITH, not WHAT.

The Father wants our hearts WITH Him, not our bodies doing WHAT we think will impress or appease Him.

My mom embodies this perfectly.

She will do ANYTHING for our family to all just be WITH each other. When I am home, she stops whatever she is doing so that she can be with me. She even does things to serve me so that we can be together.

Just this weekend she sat on my bathroom floor and painted my toenails while I dried my hair. I know, she's ridiculous.

But I am so grateful for the constant reminder that my heart, my affection and my presence before Him is what my Heavenly Father desires and celebrates. Yes, actions that please Him flow out of my heart when I am WITH Him, but togetherness is what He wants, what He died to facilitate, what I live to pursue.

making the right comparison

Mrs. Oakley said something in our Community Group during high school that has been a theme throughout my years since then:

When comparison begins, contentment ends.

Especially for girls comparison either breeds pride or self-contempt, but for whatever reason we persist in comparing and ranking ourselves among others in our minds (or at least I do). So today Jesus' words were particularly poignant. In Luke 18:9-14, "He told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt." (v.9)

The parable portrays a Pharisee boasting before the Lord that he is not like other sinners and a tax collector begging for mercy in recognition of his sinfulness. Jesus then explains that the one who humbled himself was the one who was justified before God. Clearly the heart of the tax collector was poised for relationship with God, while the heart of the Pharisee delighted in a false sense of self-sufficiency.

I believe each of these men made comparisons that led their hearts to these positions.

The Pharisee looked around at the others who were approaching God and saw that he was living in greater moral purity than these. Compared to everyone around him, he seemed to be doing very well. Compared to everyone around him, he had every reason for pride. I do this so often. It is so easy to find people to watch who make me think I am doing well before the Lord, but it is just as easy to compare myself to people whose lives highlight my flaws. Neither mindset is what I want. Neither mindset allows room for the Lord to work in my heart.

The tax collector made a different comparison. The only worthwhile comparison. And it brought him to repentance and justification and true righteousness. The tax collector compared himself to the holiness of God. He knew what he would find if he were to look up and gaze upon the perfections of the Most High; it was for this reason that he stood far off and "would not even lift up his eyes to heaven." (v. 13) He knew what he would see: the throne of God, the righteous judge, who has commanded that His people be holy even as He is holy. One glimpse of God and the tax collector knew he could never earn the right to approach such beauty and holiness.

But that glimpse afforded him the courage to humble himself and ask for mercy. In comparing himself to the Lord of heaven, he saw the glorious love that leads man to repentance. He recognized that on his own he had no grounds for approaching the King, that his own righteousness was as a filthy rag, a presentation he could never offer to the spotless Lamb. But he also saw the robe. The robe of righteousness that is merited by the Holy One alone was extended to this tax collector.

And worship began.

A Birthday Prayer for Nate

06.14.2010

Gracious Father, from above

You look down on me in love

And one great evidence thereof

Is my priceless brother, Nate

Today's his birthday, as You know,

So let my words please somehow show

In part my gratitude to go

Through life with my sweet brother, Nate

As he turns 17 this year

I pray he knows You always near

And that his heart enthrones You dear

Please lead my solid brother, Nate

I pray with every day he'll see

More of who You made him to be

So to pursue wholeheartedly

Glory You planned for my brother, Nate

Will you please captivate his soul

Your glories only to extol

That we'd relinquish all control

For You to guide my brother, Nate

Please let him know he is Your treasure

Loved beyond all human measure

He is my joy and he's Your pleasure

Thank You for sharing my brother, Nate

Celebrating the Martins

Megan and Wyatt, where to begin?

Blessed beyond words to call each of you "friend"

Megan I met when she borrowed a dress

But she never repeated that kind of request ;)

It wasn't until CO took us to ski

That friendship was formed between Megan and me

Several hours spent bonding over laughter so rife

Sparked a chain of events that would change my whole life

To my great delight in the next week or two

Meg asked me to spring break somewhat out of the blue

Several months later she voted me in

To the sweetest of D-groups with the dearest of friends

In life before knowing the bride in our midst

I doubted such friendship could even exist

Though in living together she saw my sin completely

She has loved me and grown me ever so sweetly

And now she moves on into life with this man

I'll try to do justice, but no metered rhyme can

Wyatt I met in a game of Mad Gab

And knew from then he was anything but drab

Our house always brightened when Wyatt came down

His joy in the Lord drenches all those around

He's thoughtful and humble, an uplifting delight

Though he's known to coat kitchens in cocoa at night

There is much to be said of these two on their own

But their marriage will trump all they've already known

From now on when we look it's not these that we see

But Christ and His Church, the Bride He set free

See the loving pursuit of our God for His own

The price that He paid to bring us to His throne

Though tomorrow we join in with great celebration

Yours is but a glimpse to fuel anticipation

So I'll say it once more 'cause I can't keep it quiet

I love you both dearly. Yay Megan and Wyatt!

happy birthday, #2!!

23 Things I Love to Love About Katie Michelle Houghtaling:

1. her beautiful soul

2. her passion for life

3. her love for her family

4. honey buns

5. twix

6. Mr. Belknap's quotes

7. she always used my powder after PE

8. she introduced me to "Wicked"

9. awkward Junior Prom.....

10. awesome Senior Prom with prize pack limo!

11. surprising her in Utah and seeing Aida together

12. golf cart rides counting how many boys checked us out

13. making Brian and Alex watch "From Justin to Kelly"

14. school night sleepover when Josh & I ended

15. the 17th birthday all-day gift extravaganza she gave me

16. being numbers 1 and 2

17. daily hearing "Hey Katie...s bahahahaha" in high school

18. photo shoots at all-state and everywhere else when we hated perfectly fine pictures

19. senior lunches with Sarah Nichols and Jennifer Maddox

20. all the awesome exercise plans we completed

21. game nights at the Houghtaling house

22. her loyalty to the people she loves

23. the blessing of calling her "best friend" for almost a decade

And an appropriate re-release of our high school classic....